My Grandmother's Funeral

today Lala, Vincent & myself went to the funeral home for the wake of my Abuela. All last night I debated on going, even called Mommy in DR & told her that I wasn't going. She told me that the decision was mines & that she would understand. You see, this would be the first time I would be attending a funeral service without either of my parents. And to top it off, I NEVER go near the casket, always stay in the back of the room. My mother is to blame, as a child my favorite uncle passed away & she made me give him a kiss, touch his hand {which by the way were cold} & give him the bendicion {spanish blessing}. That incident really freaked me out & ever since then, I made it aware to family to leave me alone when we are @ these types of functions.

Lots of family & friends were there, you what I like about family gatherings {good/bad} are the people who remember you when you were young, yet you have no idea who they are. The expression on their face is priceless when you tell them that you have no idea who they are, yet you smile @ them & listen to all the stories they remember about you hoping that one of these stories will remind you of them. 9 out of 10 times, you don't.

Her nephew preached from the bible, people sang & some did the Rosary. It felt strange that she wasn't the one preaching & praying the Rosary. She's the one that everyone asked to lead in pray@ these types of functions. I wish she were here because I miss her so much already. I had this thing that I had to call her @ least once a week to see how she's doing. Then she would talk to Lala & preach a little to both of us. Not hearing her voice, seeing her smile, tell me my childhood stories, watch Lala grow & compare both of us & the most important thing to her--Lala's communion. She's a devoted Catholic, never missed a mass, always with her church group & going on their trips & ALWAYS with a Rosary in her pocket. God Bless Her.

Lala was so sad & all she kept saying was "I love her & miss her mommy". All I could manage was "i know baby". Told Lala not to worry because she was her guardian angel & she can talk to her whenever she wants in pray.

Teresa, thank you for giving me the strength to approach you tonight & not be scared. I will miss EVERYTHING about you; always loving, caring & accepting. You are my favorite person & always made that known to others. I thank God that Lala got the chance to know you & realize how beautiful & special you are. I know that you are safe and without a shadow of doubt are seated next to the Heavenly Father. I know you are happy & knowing that is what helps me get through all this. Love you forever & till we see each other again {no time soon though :-) } Bendicion Abuela.