Work

now everyone knows that i love my job & that i have always wanted to work @ NYU for quite sometime. something about working in a university setting & all the perks that come with being there is just wonderful. don't get me wrong, i loved what i did @ SEO & wish that i could continue doing that. some of the people there were really worth knowing & working alongside of & others-well we all know how i feel about them cause i have always expressed it on a daily basis; especially with the nicknames :-)

another thing about me that one cannot deny, is that i am a hard worker & when i am given a task it is done to the fullest. & of course, everyone knows that i hate slackers...hate them, can't stand them & they make me sick cause not only are you pissing me off but mostly cause i have to do their damn work. one thing i hate the most about a job is doing someone else's work & not getting paid for it. shit, if you don't want to do your job then quit @ least you won't be in my damn way.

another thing about me {not to brag}, is that i know how to multi-task & get my shit done before i leave to pick up Lala from afterschool. i can watch tv, talk on the phone with my parents/family/friends, surf the net, & talk shit in the office. but come the end of the day, NO ONE can DENY that my work is done by 5...even if not all of it is done but half of it will got done before i walk out the door.

here i am now in the same situation, i guess their are slackers everywhere you go in life. you got people up in here doing everything but they damn job. of course @ the last hour they rushing to get their job done & then that screws me over cause i need your shit to enter into the system. so now you holding my black ass up & that shit just won't fly.
of course i will nip shit in the bud, but when you have certain people that you can't say shit to cause once you say something to them they take it personally & want to act Lala's age {8} & not speak to me for a few weeks.
does me no harm cause like i said, i multi task by doing my work, on the phone, surfing the net & watching online television.

now take that for petty......

My Papa

today my Papa left to Dominican Republic & I am going to miss him. Sucks because both my parents are out of the country & I am left here w/Lala alone. Let me not be dramatic, I do have family here but it's not the same as your parents being here & for some reason some people just can't seem to understand that. but whatever, I am alone w/no parents in the country.

last night, I was on the phone w/my Dad wishing him well & letting him know that I hope he has a safe flight. didn't realize that I forgot to tell Lala on Monday that he was leaving for a little while. Anyway, I look down & notice that Lala is crying so I ask her what is wrong & she's balling saying "why is Papa leaving, I don't want him to leave-make him stay" literally brought tears to my eyes. Lala is really close to my parents so whenever they leave for a long period of time, she's an emotional wreak strange cause she doesn't do this for me. but it's cool & I am glad that she has that bond w/her grandparents.

my Dad & Stepmom had to speak to her to calm her down. it took 15 mins. before she could pull herself together. poor child is already wanting my mother to come back & now that my father is leaving she is going to be depressed & calling both of them to hurry up & come back home. she's already questioning my mother as to when she's coming back & mommy has told her that she won't be coming back till next year due to Hurrican Noel & the mess that was left behind. had to sit Lala down & explain to her what's up & why it's taking Mama so long to come back.

hope they come back soon cause I want my parents..
sucks to not have both of them especially during the holidays
but hey...i'll be alright

Finally I Am Home

boy, did I miss my home...I never seem to appreciate my home till I am away for some time. just having the time to myself & knowing that Lala is enjoying herself in her room. either singing, dancing, reading or learning on her Leaf Frog laptop. I actually sat in my living room just admiring the room, call me crazy but I just had to take a moment.

so yesterday, was my 31st birthday & their was no school either. Lala & I enjoyed a day @ home. we watched Harry Potter 1-3 {need the last film}, took a nap, and managed to catch up on some of my stories. miss my daytime soaps only have enough time to watch my spanish soaps in the evening.

my baby brother was the first to wish me a happy b-day, then my phone just kept going off after that. got texts, emails & phone calls from the people that love & care about me. some people wanted to know why I didn't do anything: hello it was a Tuesday, not much to do on a weekday & it was ugly in the morning with all the rain. besides, I wanted to spend it @ home hanging out & letting Lala sleep for as long as she wanted too. she wakes up early every morning any damn way. all in all, I had a wonderful day yesterday, thanks to those who remember my birthday & my daughter who is pure comedy.

she was upset because I didn't tell her it was my birthday, she found out from my step-mother.

L: why didn't you tell me it was your birthday. happy birthday mommy.
M: thanks & it's not important
L: oh yeah, you should have told me
M:why?
L: cause it's your birthday, it's important & special. you get presents
M: ok. I'll tell you next time
L: I am going to make you something

she did..she found the construction paper, markers & the scissors.made me a card with a heart in it.. I had her post it on the fridge.

Abuela, Abuela, Abuela

i tell you, living with this lady is a new experience everyday. since Lala & i have been staying with her, i have decided to get to know her a little better. i've been asking her questions about her youth, when she met my father's father {will explain as to why i don't say grandpa later}, how she ended up with her friend's man, her second marriage, her daughters & my dad & his sister that she left behind because she was unable to support them & their father dumping them on his sister & her husband.

my life as well as my family's life is a soap opera in its self. you may thinking i am being dramatic but if you read what i wrote above you will see that it's not & the sad part is that that is only the half of it. i haven't even mentioned the drama that is going on with my mother's side of the family in DR. everyone is fighting over my aunt's will & everyone wants to sell the properties that she has so that they can get the money. certain people shouldn't get shit cause they don't deserve it, what they do deserve is for my aunt to appear to them in their dream & whoop their ass. but that's my opinion as mommy says.

anyway back to my grandmother, love her to pieces but i have to wonder about the choices that she's made in life. i asked her this morning about why she never went back to get her 1st 2 kids from jackass. all she said was that time was really rough & that jackass said that if she didn't want to be with him then he didn't need to give her & her kids any money for support. so she left him as well as my dad, as for my father's sister-well she said she say him on day on the streets & cursed him out & he told her that if she wanted support for him she had to take him to court, she did & the judge gave him custody of their daughter. which in turn he sent his daughter to his sister's house for awhile & then to his aunt's to live permantly.

it sucks being in the middle of the drama knowing how everyone really feels about the next person & not being able to say/do anything. not my place to say anything & i learn that the hard way. i told my dad something that his sister said not thinking that i would get the reaction i got & left with the impression that that was the biggest mistake i had made. so for that reason alone i have decided to mind my business & just keep everyone's conversations to myself until i feel the time is right.

now as to my i will never call that jackass my grandfather. this moran used to live with us {mother, father, myself & older brother} back in the day. from the stories i have heard i was a bit of a pain in the ass bacause i would never stop crying & it drove him crazy {i was a few months old for Christ sake} anyway, one summer {1991} my dad took me & my brothers to DR for the summer. we went to jackass's house to meet the family because it had been some time since they last saw us. do you know that this moran had the nerve to say that he didn't know my dad had a daughter right in front of me {bastard}. the hurt was just all over my face & my dad just looked @ me like "it's going to be alright" then jackass wanted us to give him the blessing {spanish thing}. told him hell no & my dad was like "maureen" i just said hello & kept in moving.
the second encounter was about 3 yrs. my grandmother had passed away. so me, mommy & lala flew to DR for the services; my dad happended to be in DR @ the same time & wanted us to come visit for the weekend. so lala & i did, once again my dad took us to his father's house {this shit is funny} & he just looked @ us & asked my step-mother if i was her daughter. can u believe this son-of-a-bitch, my step-mother told him to look @ me real carefully & asked him to think. his answer, she must be your niece cause i have never seen her before. my dad just looked me cause i was laughing @ how stupid he was going to look once i told him. i told him no that his son was my father & that the little girl was my daughter. this bastard had the nerve to start saying "oh my god, i have a great-granddaughter..i never thought i would have seen the day." told him that he probably wouldn't because she is not his great-granddaughter, how can she be when you didn't even know you had a granddaughter. whatever..it's been a year since he passed i can't mourn/miss someone i never knew